Ways to Practice Self-Care

 

Find Your Flow

Ever become so absorbed in a hobby that you lose track of time? That's a good thing! Whether you knit, write sci fi, garden, or work on your car, you should spend time on things that keep your full interest. When you're “in the zone,” your mind doesn't churn, you feel more sure of yourself, and you aren't as afraid of taking risks. Make time to do what you love, and you'll also give your life more meaning.

Unplug Already

Stare at any screen for hours and you'll miss what's going on IRL. Make it a priority to fully connect with your loved ones -- in person. This also allows your brain to slow down so you can better focus. It makes you calmer and lifts your mood. It may take (a lot of) practice to put your phone and laptop away, but try to do so more often -- and especially  when you're with family and friends.

Nix Negative Friendships

“Toxic” people can leave you drained and less sure of yourself. After spending time with them, it's easy to feel frustrated. If you have a friendship with someone like that, it's time to rethink it. We all need true friends in our lives. Look for ones who offer support and comfort and make you feel happy.

Get a Massage

It can do more than ease sore muscles and help manage pain. Massage also helps when you're stressed, anxious, or depressed (though you may still need more help if you have a mental health condition). Studies show that massage can even lower your heart rate and blood pressure. You don't have to go to a spa. Massage schools and community health fairs offer low-cost options.

Go Green

No matter your age or where you live, being outdoors can help you feel more calm and balanced. Studies show that time spent in nature also lessens pain, improves your focus, and helps you better connect with others. Can't get out as much as you like? Sit next to a window, look at nature photos, or buy a plant. These will help you feel grounded, too.

Get More Shut-Eye

Going to bed early can feel like a splurge when you have so much to do. It's not! Your body and brain need plenty of sleep to be at their best. That shut-eye you get helps you to think clearly, be alert, and handle stress. It also helps manage your immune system, heart, hormones, and weight. Aim for 7-8 hours each night.

Move On

If you tend to space out or feel “stuck” when you're stressed, getting active  can get you back in the zone. Turn up your favorite playlist and dance in your living room, swim laps, take a brisk walk around the block. … Rhythmic movements get you out of your head and into the present moment so you're ready for the next challenge.

Give Back

Walk dogs at a local shelter, pick up trash in a park, bring a meal to a sick neighbor. When you donate time and energy to others -- be it another person or a cause you believe in -- you forge a stronger link to the world. Helping others also gives your body and brain a good workout, boosts your self-esteem, and helps you build a social support system. Bonus: The more you volunteer, the happier you may feel.

Seek Out Happy People

You can “catch” others' emotions just like you would a cold. So what vibes are the people around you spreading? Where you can choose to, try to surround yourself with people who have a cheerful, positive outlook on life, even while they face their challenges. “Happy” is one of the best emotions to absorb. And then you, in turn, can pass it on to someone else.

Plan a Getaway

Next time you have days off from work, head out of town. It doesn't have to be somewhere far-flung or fancy. The best trips are the ones that are most relaxed. Can't travel right now? Some research shows that you may get a mood boost by simply planning your trip. It's fun to have something to look forward to, like which beach to visit or what shows to book.

Tap Into Thankfulness

Stop for a moment and take stock of what you're grateful for. It helps you notice that even when some things are hard, there's still good in the world and some of it has come your way. (It may also distract you from other, less pleasant feelings like envy.) Try this: Think of someone who's helped you, in a large or small way, and write them a thank-you note. Even if you never send it, you'll still get a positive mental boost.

Jot It in a Journal

Put your thoughts and feelings on paper, and you may find them easier to deal with. A journal can help you see which of your worries and fears aren't such a big deal, give you a chance to work through problems, and break the habit of negative self-talk. Keep a paper and pen handy, and try to write something every day, or type it into your phone. Remember, your journal is just for you, so let your true feelings flow.

Simplify

Your home won't feel as cozy as it should if it's filled with too much stuff. (And it's not just Marie Kondo who thinks so.) Clutter makes us less happy about where we live, as well as how we feel about ourselves. It can even prevent you from getting a good night's sleep. Little by little, chip away at what you don't need or want anymore.

Feed Your Spirit

People who tend to their spiritual side are less apt to worry and feel sad. For some, that means prayer and worship services. For others, it has nothing to do with religion. You may simply meditate every morning. Either way, the result can be that you're better able to take on stress.

Seek Help When You Need It

When a big problem hits, don't pretend nothing's wrong. Speak to a counselor in private, or check out a support group. It helps you get a different view of your situation so you can make your best choices. Although your problem probably won't vanish right away, get it off your chest. You'll feel recharged by taking charge -- with help from a pro.

The Truth about Skin Tags

 

Skin tags are an early sign of skin cancer.

Discovering a tiny skin tag -- or several skin tags -- on the neck or under the arm can be alarming. But there's no reason to worry. Skin tags are harmless. They're not cancerous and they don't increase the risk of any kind of cancer.

Skin tags are usually oval flaps of tissue that hang from the skin on a tiny stalk. They may appear alone or in a group. Typically, they're the size of a grain of rice, but they can be smaller or larger. Rarely, they can get as big as a grape. They're common, too. Almost half of all people have a skin tag at some point in their lives

Skin tags almost always cause which of these symptoms?

The vast majority of skin tags have no symptoms. They don't hurt, itch, or do anything else.

In some cases, friction over time from clothing or skin can irritate a skin tag. Some people have skin tags in inconveniently located places that regularly get pinched or snagged by jewelry or clothing. If a skin tag is bothering you, a doctor can remove it.

Doctors recommend that people remove skin tags promptly, before they get worse.

Because skin tags are harmless, there's usually no medical reason to remove them. They will not get bigger. If they don't bother you, you can leave them alone. People tend to get skin tags removed only if they're unsightly or annoying.

If you have a new skin tag, it's a good idea to show it to your health care provider. Some more serious skin conditions can sometimes look like skin tags. Skin tags that are multi-colored, bleed, or grow quickly may need a closer look. In rare cases, a skin tag may need a biopsy. If you notice a skin tag on your child, talk to a pediatrician.

What causes the majority of skin tags?

In fact, experts aren't sure exactly why skin tags form. They seem to be linked to a mix of genetics and environment. Friction -- either from rubbing against clothing or skin -- seems to be a trigger. Hormone changes may affect the risk, too.

Some people may develop just a single skin tag in their lives. Others may develop up to hundreds. For now, we really don't know why.

Which condition increases the odds of having skin tags?

Researchers have noticed that people with diabetes and insulin resistance are more likely to have multiple skin tags. Obesity seems to increase the risk, too. Studies have found that the heavier people are, the more skin tags they are likely to have. That may be because skin tags are more likely to pop up in folds of skin that rub against each other.

Pregnant women often develop skin tags, possibly because of hormonal changes. People with Crohn's disease may also be more likely to develop skin tags.

If you remove skin tags, they will spread.

Removing a skin tag won't make more skin tags grow. This is a misconception -- perhaps related to the (also untrue) belief that shaving hair makes it grow back faster. While it is true that you may develop more skin tags later, removing one doesn't cause new ones.

Skin tags aren't contagious either, like warts and some other skin conditions. You can't "catch" a skin tag from someone else or spread it from one part of your body to another.

What is the scientific name for skin tags?

Scientists call skin tags acrochordons -- and also fibroepithelial polyps or cutaneous papillomas. People sometimes call skin tags "skin tabs" or barnacles. Technically, skin tags are considered a type of tumor, but they are not cancerous.

How do doctors remove skin tags?

In most cases, doctors will just clip skin tags with a pair of surgical scissors. Because skin tags are usually quite small, many people don't even need an anesthetic. The area may bleed a little afterward. Larger skin tags may need minor surgery.

Some doctors use cryotherapy to freeze the tissue. Others opt for electrical current to burn the tag. However, freezing or burning the tag may not work as well and can discolor the skin. Skin tags on the eyelid may need special treatment by an ophthalmologist.

In some cases, skin tags will fall off on their own. Even after removal, you may have new skin tags in the same places. That's because they are likely to appear in certain areas, not because they regrow.

Tight clothing could increase the risk of skin tags.

While skin tags can appear just about anywhere, they're especially common in parts of your body that rub against clothing or skin. Skin tags are most common on the neck, armpits, groin, and eyelids. They also may appear on the chest and back and in skin creases. Women are likely to develop skin tags under the breasts, where the underwire of a bra may rub against the skin.

In which age group are skin tags most common?

Skin tags become more common as we grow older, possibly because aging skin may somehow trigger their development. They often appear after midlife. However, skin tags can develop in people at any age. Babies can develop skin tags, especially in the folds of their skin.

Skin tags are usually the same color as the skin.

Most skin tags are the same color as your skin. Sometimes they are slightly darker or brown. If a skin tag has twisted and its blood supply is cut off, it may turn purple or black before it falls off. It's generally nothing to worry about.

Doctors recommend using wart-removal medication on skin tags.

While some people treat skin tags with chemicals designed for wart removal, doctors say that's not a good idea. Wart removal creams and ointments may not work and may irritate the skin. They could cause other complications, too.

Which is a traditional home remedy for removing skin tags?

People have devised all sorts of ways to remove skin tags -- some effective and some not. Regardless, it's better to have a professional examine and remove a skin tag than to treat it on your own. Do-it-yourself skin tag removal might not work or might cause unnecessary pain -- and it could create other risks.

The Truth about Mail-In DNA Tests

 

Lots of Info and Some Confusion

If you’re curious about where your ancestors came from or concerned about diseases you might be likely to get, mail-in DNA tests make it easy to get some answers. Dozens of companies offer them, and they can be done with a sample of your saliva or a swab of your cheek. The catch is, you may learn "facts" about yourself that aren't quite factual.

Myth: Predict Chances of Disease

These tests look for information in your genes that shows you might be more likely to get a specific disease, such as Alzheimer's or cancer. But they can’t tell if you'll end up getting it. They can't even really tell you your chances of it. Other things, like your lifestyle or habits, affect your risk of getting diseases, too.

Myth: Cover All Conditions

The field of genetics is growing quickly, but only so many tests are available. So while you may get information about certain conditions, you might not get any about a less common disease you're concerned about.

Myth: Map Your Family Tree

Each company has its own database of samples from people who live in different areas of the world, and they match yours against the others in the database. So your results won’t include everyone who’s been tested -- they’ll only include people who’ve been tested by the company you choose.

Myth: Same Info for Siblings

Everyone gets 50% of their DNA from each parent, but what's in each half can be different. So it's totally possible that you got more of your mom's European DNA and your sister got more of their Asian DNA. Add your dad to the mix, and things get scrambled further. Just as siblings don't always look alike, their DNA might not look alike, either.

Myth: Nutritional Needs

Some testing companies offer personalized advice on dietary supplements based on your test results. Some even try to sell them to you. But no studies show that genetic tests can give you useful information about those or dietary choices.

Myth: Effects of Toxins

Not everyone who smokes gets cancer, and some DNA testing companies suggest that the reason for that is in your genes. It may be, at least in part, but there’s no strong science that proves genetic tests can tell you how well your body handles certain things in the environment.

Myth: Insurance Rates

Laws are in place to protect you from being denied health insurance or charged more for it. But those laws don’t apply to life insurance, disability insurance, or long-term care insurance. That means it's possible your genetic test results could be used by the companies that sell these types of insurance.

Myth: Government Regulations

Most of these tests are made privately and can be sold to you without any proof that they work as advertised. That may soon change, though. The FDA is coming up with guidelines for genetic tests.

Myth: All Tests Are the Same

While no testing company can guarantee that the information it gives you is 100% accurate, some are better than others. If you decide to try at-home DNA testing, look for one that meets the U.S. standards called Clinical Laboratory Improvement Amendments (CLIA), and check to see if the tests have been approved by the FDA.

Myth: Personal Info

Read the fine print. Most companies make an effort to keep personal data "private," but that can mean different things. Make sure you understand what data they’re collecting and who will see it.

Myth: Harmless Fun

At-home DNA tests can be entertaining, even if they're not always accurate. But they can cause stress, too. Sometimes genetic tests reveal not-so-happy surprises, like a family member not being related to you or the possibility that you’ll get a certain condition. You might talk with a genetic counselor before deciding whether to get tested. And if you decide to do it, the counselor can help you understand the results.

Symptoms of Immune System Problems

 

What Are Immune System Problems?

Your immune system should fight off disease and help your body heal. But your immune system can be weak, under-active, overactive, or even attack your body by mistake. Immune system problems can cause symptoms, allergic reactions, or persistent illnesses.

Dry or Gritty Eyes

Very dry eyes can be a sign of immune system problems. In Sjögren’s syndrome, your immune system dries up tears that keep eyes moist. Your eyes are dry, red, and may feel like you have grit or sand in them. You can develop blurry vision or even cornea damage.

Depression

Depression can be a sign of immune system problems. A faulty immune system can send inflammatory cells called cytokines to your brain. They lower your levels of chemicals like serotonin that lift your mood. The good news: Exercise can boost serotonin, lessen inflammation, and help ease your depression.

Skin Rash

Eczema’s itchy rash is an allergic reaction that means your immune system is overactive. Psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis are diseases linked to a faulty immune system. Your immune system attacks your own skin cells with inflammation. This can cause red, flaky, painful blotches called plaques.

Stomach or Bowel Problems

Stomach and bowel symptoms may be signs of an immune symptom problem. Diarrhea, belly pain, bloating, and weight loss are symptoms of Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, or celiac disease -- conditions driven by your immune system.

Cold Hands and Feet

Do your hands and feet turn white or blue in the cold? In Raynaud’s disease, blood flow to hands and feet may slow down in cold temperatures, causing skin to feel cold and change colors. It’s an autoimmune condition. Cold hands and feet could mean your thyroid gland is under-active due to your immune system.

Hair Loss

Your immune system can attack your hair at the root and damage it, causing alopecia areata, or hair loss. Hair may fall out in small patches on your head or anywhere on your body. Other immune system problems like plaque psoriasis on your scalp can cause patchy hair loss too.

Sun Sensitivity

Immune system problems can make you very sensitive to sunlight. If you have lupus, your skin may burn easily from even brief sun exposure. Sun on your skin can cause an immune system flare-up of all lupus symptoms, so always wear hats, sunglasses, cover-ups, and high SPF sunscreen to protect yourself.

Joint Pain

Suddenly painful, swollen, stiff joints may be a symptom of rheumatoid arthritis (RA). In RA, your immune system inflames tissue lining your joints. This causes severe joint pain.

Wounds Slow to Heal

If your immune system is sluggish, minor wounds like a cut, burn, or scrape may be slow to heal. A healthy immune system reacts quickly to a wound and sends nutrients to promote healing. If your wounds take a long time to get better, your immune system may be under-active.

You Get Sick All the Time

Frequent infections like colds or flu also could be signs of an under-active immune system. If you have four or more yearly ear infections, chronic sinus infections, pneumonia twice in one year, or you need antibiotics twice a year or more often, you could have an immune deficiency.

Fatigue

You may feel tired after lots of activity. But if you’re wiped out often, even when you do get sleep, you may have a sluggish immune system. Fatigue is when you’re so exhausted you can’t even walk across the room. An overactive immune system may trigger inflammation that causes this severe tiredness.

Night-Time Habits to Help You Lose Weight

 

Nighttime Is the Right Time

When you’re trying to lose weight, eating healthful foods and working out regularly are important things to do. But there are also small changes you can try at night to help you slim down.

Keep Evenings Busy

Sometimes people overeat at night because they’re bored. If that's you, try to fit in some activities before bed. Walking, journaling, chatting with a friend, or reading a book can help distract you from binge eating.   Picking up a new hobby -- like painting, playing music, or knitting -- is another great way to distract yourself from chowing down when you’re bored.

Sleep Well

Believe it or not, getting enough sleep can help you when you’re trying to lose weight. Having a schedule that you stick to and getting the right amount of shut-eye can help a lot.

Work Out (but Not Too Late!)

Physical activity in the early evening can be helpful. Just make sure it’s not too vigorous. High-intensity exercise like interval training could affect the quality of sleep you get. It can also make it harder to fall asleep at bedtime. Don’t work out too late, either. Stop at least an hour before you go to sleep.

Don’t Eat Before Bed

If you have dinner or snack too close to bedtime, it might hinder your weight loss efforts. Although the actual time doesn’t really matter, many people who eat late at night choose high-calorie foods, which brings weight gain. Late meals and snacks can also make it harder for you to fall asleep. Aim to stay out of the kitchen from a couple of hours before bedtime until you wake up the next morning.

Pack Your Lunch for the Next Day

Instead of going out for your midday meal, save some money and pack your lunch the night before. Eating out usually means more fat and sodium. But when you pack your own food, you’ll have healthier options. Go for proteins like almonds or turkey slices, whole grains, low-fat dairy, and plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Stick to a Schedule

If you notice you’re overeating at night, it could be because you haven’t eaten enough during the day. The best way to combat that is to make sure that you eat your meals regularly. That way, your body will know when to anticipate food. Eating a snack between lunch and dinner is totally fine, too -- just try not to overdo it.

Turn Off the TV

Although you might like to watch television during dinner, screen time while you eat could cause you to accidentally overindulge. It can distract you from how much and what you’re eating.

Brush and Floss Right After Dinner

To encourage yourself to avoid nighttime eating, make it a habit to brush and floss your teeth right after dinner. If your teeth are already clean, you’ll probably think twice before grabbing a snack close to bedtime.

Ease Stress

Stress can lead to weight gain. Try to take time to relax at night. Deep breathing techniques and mindfulness meditation are great ways to chill out. Lowering your stress levels can also do wonders for the quality and amount of sleep you get.

Turn the Lights Out

Sleeping in a dark room is another habit to add to your list. It helps you get better sleep. If you’re trying to lose weight and get better ZZZs, Cover the windows to block out light. (Try blackout curtains if your blinds don’t block light well.) and put your phone and laptop away at least 30 minutes before bedtime. An eye mask can help, too.

Love Hurts: Common Sex Injuries and Other Hazards

 

When Sex Hurts

Sex is supposed to feel good, but a few wrong moves beneath the sheets could leave you in pain. Anything from a rug burn to a penile fracture is possible if you get too rough or move too fast. Take it slow and know your limits to avoid these common sex injuries and other hazards.

Tears to the Vagina or Anus

Rough sex or a foreign object (like a dildo) can tear the sensitive tissue inside the vagina or anus. This can be painful, and you may bleed. If it hurts, your doctor can prescribe a pain-relieving cream. Don't put anything inside your vagina or anus until the area heals. Use a lubricant whenever you have sex to avoid injuries in the future.

A Broken Penis

You can fracture your penis if you bend it too far or hit it hard against your partner's pelvis when you slip out while thrusting. This is different from a broken finger or toe. That’s because your penis has no bones. Instead, the force ruptures one of the two cylinders inside that fill with blood during an erection. Signs of a penile fracture are a popping sound, swelling, and intense pain. Get medical help right away.

Muscle Pull

Any activity where you do the same movement over and over -- like thrusting -- can strain a muscle. Twisting your body too hard can pull muscles in your belly or back. During an orgasm, your thighs naturally tense up, and you may feel sore afterward. Any pain should let up in a day or two. If it doesn't, you might have a real injury that needs your doctor's attention.

Carpet Burn

The friction of rubbing against a rough surface -- say a rug or the floor -- can leave scrapes and burns on your back, buttocks, and legs. Friction burns can be very painful. Fortunately, most aren't serious, and they'll heal on their own in a few days. To avoid one of these, put a blanket down as a buffer if you plan to get busy on the carpet or the floor.

Stuck Foreign Objects

Some couples use sex toys, such as vibrators, dildos, anal beads, or butt plugs, to enhance their pleasure. Others reach for household items, like a cucumber or electric toothbrush. Playing with toys is totally normal. Just be careful that the object you use has a wide enough base that it won't get stuck. If a toy or other object goes in too far, you may have to make a trip to the emergency room to have it removed.

Allergic Reactions

An itchy rash or burning after sex could be from an allergy. Lubricant, spermicides, condoms, and even a partner's cologne can all trigger reactions in people who are sensitive to them. Rarely, people are allergic to semen or to a protein in something their male partner ate, such as nuts, that got into the semen. Symptoms of an allergic reaction usually start about 10 to 30 minutes after the contact. They can last for hours to days.

Heart Attack

This is pretty rare outside of the movies. As long as your heart is healthy, there's no reason to abstain from sex. After all, it counts as aerobic exercise, which is actually good for your heart. As long as you can do other exercises like walking or jogging without a problem, you should be healthy enough for sex. Just check with your doctor first if you have symptoms like chest pain, shortness of breath, or an irregular heartbeat.

Back Injury

A swift move in just the right (or wrong) direction could throw out your back. Lifting your partner might do the trick as well. Take it slow. Prop your partner against the bed or a countertop rather than going for a full lift. If you already have a bad back and it hurts to bend over, skip spooning -- especially if you are the big spoon. You may be more comfortable having sex doggy-style, where one partner is on all fours and the other is in back.

Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)

Bacteria normally live outside the vagina. During sex, a penis, finger, or sex toy can give these germs an easy route up the urethra and into your urinary tract. Signs that you have a UTI include burning when you pee and blood in your urine. To avoid an infection, urinate right after you have sex to flush out any bacteria. Ask your doctor whether cranberry juice or tablets might help you avoid UTIs.

Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI)

Without proper precautions, you and your partner could pass bacteria, viruses, and other germs to each other. Almost 20 million people in the United States get an STI like herpes, syphilis, or gonorrhea each year. Condoms are the best way to avoid these infections. Having only one sex partner can also lower your risk.

Post-Orgasmic Illness Syndrome

People with this rare condition develop flu- or allergy-like symptoms after they orgasm. Fever, stuffy nose, sneezing, headache, and itchy eyes can start within seconds, or up to a few hours, after sex. It can last for a few days. Doctors don't know what sets off this reaction, but it's more common in men. If you have this syndrome, allergy medicines or antidepressants may help.

Post-Sex Depression

Sex should be fun and relaxing, but it isn't for everyone. Some people get the "post-sex blues," even if the sex was good and they're in a loving relationship. Doctors call depression or anxiety after sex "postcoital dysphoria." Some people may even become angry and lash out at their partner. If sex is upsetting instead of pleasurable, talk to your doctor or a therapist about it.

Genital Burning

Feeling a burn in your vagina or penis is never normal -- during sex or otherwise. Many problems cause a burning sensation. In women, it can be due to vaginal dryness from low estrogen levels around the time of menopause. An injury, infection, or lack of lubrication can also cause burning or pain in either partner. Burning once in a while is probably no reason to worry. But if it often happens with sex, check with your doctor

Helping Your Kid through CoVid Stress

 

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhDPsychologist, March 03, 2021

This year of living under COVID-19 restrictions has affected all of us, including our children. They’ve had to stay inside (along with their stressed parents), cut off from friends, with their routines disrupted. This powerful experience will affect them for years to come. But it does not have to be a wholly negative one. You can use it as an opportunity to help them learn to cope with stress.

During childhood, we learn who we are and how to manage ourselves in the world. Children are greatly affected by how their parents treat them on a daily basis and guide them through difficult times -- even adolescents absorb messages their parents give them (despite their frequent self-absorption and focus on peers). While you may not realize it, your children will carry these lessons into adulthood.

You can help your children grow from their current pandemic experiences by reinforcing these four basic messages:

• You are not the problem. Your child may feel stressed, afraid, and out of sorts during this time. These feelings can be distressing and may leave your child questioning what’s wrong with them. By validating their feelings and letting them know that these are understandable reactions, they will learn that they are OK.

• This time of stress and distress will pass. Despite how it might feel, this pandemic will not last forever. Restrictions will eventually be lifted, they will return to school and seeing friends in person, and life will move on. Letting your child know this (and reminding yourself of it) can help ease their concerns.

• There are things you can do to help yourself. Encourage your child to find ways to enjoy their time at home. They might enjoy crafts, learning something new, or reading. Though they may not be able to meet in person with friends, they can enjoy time together virtually. And if they feel anxious or sad, they can do these same things to help them through those tough times.

• You are not alone. Let them know that everyone needs help sometimes. With that in mind, encourage them to seek support from you or another responsible adult who they trust.

Adults who feel the healthiest and happiest tend to feel positively about themselves, know that they can manage through difficulties, and see important people in their lives as emotionally there for them. By teaching your children to view themselves and others in these ways, you will be preparing them to thrive throughout their lives, even as they face inevitable difficulties.